“Look here…don’t let’s beat about the bush: half the trouble in life is caused by pretending there isn’t any.”

—Edith Wharton, The House of Mirth

Several of the quotes I have written about have challenged me to address fragile places within my very core. The challenge for me in this truth is so multifaceted that I could probably write an entire book rather than a blog post. I have been sitting with this draft for several weeks, unsure about what I need to say to myself.

Almost all of us pretend at some point or on some level that our life is somehow different from what it really is. When we hide real trouble, in essence pretending that there is none, that trouble can fester and grow—making way for new or related troubles to develop. Physical, relationship, money, job…this truth covers all trouble.

For me, the reason I pretend trouble doesn’t exist is generally because I don’t want it to; I want it to go away. This has never happened. It can seem an easier option to go through the motions of life, finding a precarious balance of contentment in tending to the daily familiar even as we know we are missing a depth and richness we long for deep inside. Not knowing what could/might/will happen when we honestly face real troubles is beyond scary.

For some of us, there are plenty of joys even in this kind of life. I am thankful that I have always been one to see beauty and good in each day. Being able to still do that but at the same time not fear facing and dealing with hard realities is still new for me. I’ll keep practicing, because pretending there are no troubles does not make the troubles go away and can make them increase.