I have been wrestling with this question in my mind and heart for over a week now. Plugging in the words to thesaurus.com pulls up some interesting things. One of the words given as definition for tenacity is stubbornness. However, the synonyms listed for tenacity include characteristics such as: chutzpah (Yiddish words are great), persistence, perseverance, steadfastness, grit, courage. When I plugged in stubbornness, the synonyms (other than perseverance) carried an overall different twist: inflexibility, obstinacy — followed by the animal comparisons – bullheadedness, doggedness, mulishness, and pigheadedness. This fascinated me as stubbornness was given as a definition for tenacity, but its synonyms carry very different images.
“Real courage is when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.”
— Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
“You were stubborn . . . and fought against the storm, which proved stronger than you: but we bow and yield to every breeze, and thus the gale passed harmlessly over our heads.”
— Aesop, from a version of “The Oak and the Reeds“
For those who do not know this particular fable, Oak gives the Reeds grief for not standing tall and strong. When a strong wind comes, he falls – because of his rigidity – while the reeds merely dance in the winds and come out unscathed.
Interesting, isn’t it, that the mighty oak tree is often given as a positive example of tenacity with its deep tap root? When the fall, though, they fall hard.
I am stubborn — I am tenacious. I get the two confused sometimes, as I did over the course of the past two weeks. In months of training for my first long-distance race, I believe I had the best goal in my mind and heart. I knew a week before the race date that I was somehow injured, but I did not want to stop long enough to even let myself question to what degree. Even less did I want to let anyone around me know that deep inside I was really hurting. In the pain, I lost track of the purpose of the race. In my mind, I did not want to give up.
There are plenty of times in life when being tenacious through challenge (whatever the cause of the challenge – be it injury/pain, sickness, other people, hoops, red tape (or Red Book), _________) is a beautiful thing, just as in the passage from To Kill a Mockingbird that illustrates that sometimes we stick to something from the start regardless of the likely result. When that tenacity begins to evolve into sheer stubbornness, we can cripple ourselves — or even fall. Sometimes letting go, even when I know full well in both my head and my heart that I should, has seemed too hard. I did not fall, but in my stubbornness (of the inflexible/mulishness variety) I allowed myself to become physically compromised to the point where it will take time and much effort on my part to become strong again. What some others saw as a beautiful picture of sticking it out was really not so beautiful in reality. (The reality is that in this particular case, it was closer to foolish.) I do not like that I made my stubbornness out to be something very different in my own eyes as well as in the eyes of others. Now, though, is the time for me to be tenacious (more of the chutzpah/determination variety) as I do all I can to heal and become strong (hopefully stronger) again.
Funny how every time I write, I make connections that were never part of my initial thoughts….