Seeing Beyond the External

Space is not the measure of distance. A garden wall at home may enclose more secrets than the Great Wall of China.

—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand and Stars

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

—Wendy Mass, The Candymakers (*)

“Things are always what they seem to be, Reuven? Since when?”

—Chaim Potok, The Chosen

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

May I be even more aware of the truth expressed in these words.

*This quote is a paraphrase of one often attributed to Plato or Philo or several others: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Its truth is not dependent upon who first said it.

My Choice: Fortunate over Unfortunate

In Chaim Potok’s The Chosen, Danny hits a softball right at Reuven’s face. The ball breaks Reuven’s glasses, and the shards lodge in and scratch his eye – sending Reuven to the hospital. The friendship that develops between these two Jewish teens from very different backgrounds (Danny is Hasidic, Reuven a liberal Orthodox) following Danny’s visits to Reuven in the hospital is beyond beautiful. It grows into a relationship that is essential for both of them. There are so many beautiful layers in this story, just as in any of Potok’s stories. (Read the book.) Keep the beauty of this friendship in mind as you read the passage I’ve been thinking of quite a bit lately:

When Reuven’s doctor suggest he get out of bed to walk around a bit, he stands for a time at a window just watching the people walking around outside. His father comes to visit him later:

“You will not be able to read for about ten days. He told me he will know by then about the scar tissue.”

“I’ll be happy to be out of this hospital,” I said. “I walked around a little today and saw the people on the street outside.”

My father looked at me and didn’t say anything.

“I wish I was outside now,” I said. “I envy them being able to walk around like that. They don’t know how lucky they are.”

“No one knows he is fortunate until he becomes unfortunate,” my father said quietly. “That is the way the world is.”

Reuven did not realize the fortune of his sight in both eyes until the sight in one was lost for a time. The people walking outside the hospital, likewise, had no reason to realize their fortune. I did not quite realize the fortune – the gift – that simply walking was until I had an injury that kept it from me. In fact, what spurred this post was a thought on my drive home this evening…. “I want and need to go for a walk this evening — the weather is perfect, and the time outside in the world is just what I need. …. I can’t walk.” I immediately thought of this passage.

The thing is, as I thought about it and reread it, I realized that the opposite is equally true — and far more profound in my life right now than the inconvenience of temporarily not being able to walk easily or to run. The circumstance that nearly took Reuven’s vision in one eye gave him the gift of a priceless friendship. Reuven may not have realized the gift his sight was until it was lost for a time. He also did not realize how unfortunate he was in his lack of a friendship such as developed with Danny until he experienced it. While he only had one eye to see with, he began to see the essential far more clearly.

Treasures come into our lives when we least expect them, even in the midst of the most unlikely of circumstances.

This is a post that begs for edits….I’ve written this very fast as I felt compelled to get my thoughts written out even if in a rough form.

Tenacity or Stubbornness

I have been wrestling with this question in my mind and heart for over a week now. Plugging in the words to thesaurus.com pulls up some interesting things. One of the words given as definition for tenacity is stubbornness. However, the synonyms listed for tenacity include characteristics such as: chutzpah (Yiddish words are great), persistence, perseverance, steadfastness, grit, courage. When I plugged in stubbornness, the synonyms (other than perseverance) carried an overall different twist: inflexibility, obstinacy — followed by the animal comparisons – bullheadedness, doggedness, mulishness, and pigheadedness. This fascinated me as stubbornness was given as a definition for tenacity, but its synonyms carry very different images.

“Real courage is when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.”

— Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

“You were stubborn . . . and fought against the storm, which proved stronger than you: but we bow and yield to every breeze, and thus the gale passed harmlessly over our heads.”

— Aesop, from a version of “The Oak and the Reeds

For those who do not know this particular fable, Oak gives the Reeds grief for not standing tall and strong. When a strong wind comes, he falls – because of his rigidity – while the reeds merely dance in the winds and come out unscathed.

Interesting, isn’t it, that the mighty oak tree is often given as a positive example of tenacity with its deep tap root? When the fall, though, they fall hard.

I am stubborn — I am tenacious. I get the two confused sometimes, as I did over the course of the past two weeks. In months of training for my first long-distance race, I believe I had the best goal in my mind and heart. I knew a week before the race date that I was somehow injured, but I did not want to stop long enough to even let myself question to what degree. Even less did I want to let anyone around me know that deep inside I was really hurting. In the pain, I lost track of the purpose of the race. In my mind, I did not want to give up.

There are plenty of times in life when being tenacious through challenge (whatever the cause of the challenge – be it injury/pain, sickness, other people, hoops, red tape (or Red Book), _________) is a beautiful thing, just as in the passage from To Kill a Mockingbird that illustrates that sometimes we stick to something from the start regardless of the likely result. When that tenacity begins to evolve into sheer stubbornness, we can cripple ourselves — or even fall. Sometimes letting go, even when I know full well in both my head and my heart that I should, has seemed too hard. I did not fall, but in my stubbornness (of the inflexible/mulishness variety) I allowed myself to become physically compromised to the point where it will take time and much effort on my part to become strong again. What some others saw as a beautiful picture of sticking it out was really not so beautiful in reality. (The reality is that in this particular case, it was closer to foolish.) I do not like that I made my stubbornness out to be something very different in my own eyes as well as in the eyes of others. Now, though, is the time for me to be tenacious (more of the chutzpah/determination variety) as I do all I can to heal and become strong (hopefully stronger) again.

Funny how every time I write, I make connections that were never part of my initial thoughts….

 

 

Inexpressible Comfort of Feeling Safe

Oh, the comfort —the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person —having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; knowing that a faithful hand will take a sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
D. M. M. Craik, A Life for a Life

 

These words, with the deep truth they convey, need no elaboration from me. When I came across them for the first time, I had heard neither of the novel nor the author. Not surprisingly, it was quickly clear that she was primarily a poet. I will not likely do any more research or reading; this short passage is more than enough for me.

We couldn’t enjoy its loveliness any more if….

Look at that sea, girls—all silver and shadow and vision of things not seen. We couldn’t enjoy its loveliness any more if we had millions of dollars and ropes of diamonds.

Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery

There are three or four books in my library that I have read so many times that the covers are falling off and the pages are tattered. My copy of Anne looks as well-loved as the skin horse in The Velveteen Rabbit, but I cannot imagine reading about Anne from any other pages. When I need a book to read at night to put me to sleep, this is the book I most often reach for — not because it is boring but because it relaxes me. The characters are comfortable to me, perhaps because over the years they have become real in a different way from the people I share life with. As Richard Bach wrote in Illusions, “If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats.” While the sadness of that quote never escapes me, because I believe we need real people with bodies and heartbeats and laughter and tears and good conversation to share life with, for many of us there are a few fictional characters who have become real for us in a way that shapes parts of who we are. As I think about this, I wonder if for some people other things in life work this way — for example, sports teams. Perhaps it can be anything in life that remains something of a constant while other aspects of our world are constantly changing.

The pages of each Anne book are filled with truths. I’m not really sure why this is the one I was thinking of this morning, except that when I find myself yearning or longing for something I do not have, these words and others from Anne echo in my heart. The beauty of the world around us — in whatever form that beauty takes (and sometime I will write about my thoughts on just that!) — is never lessened because of things we have or do not have. Anne is so right, the beauty sun rippling on water, the first rays of sun spreading over fog-dappled fields, the sun setting behind the green fields on the other side of the road in the evening, the first sliver of crescent moon after the dark nights of a new moon, the very first buds beginning to swell in Spring or the first leaf tinged with red as Autumn approaches, the swirl of cafe in the white foam of a beautiful cafe con leche in Spain, an older couple holding hands in downtown Madrid, the sound of shared laughter, a band that swings or a voice that really sings, Sibelius and Mahler and Strauss, tiny crocuses peeking up out of the brown grass, an emerald green bug or a frog on the driveway, reflections in the Shawnee Run creek….would not have been any more beautiful to my eyes and heart If I had “millions of dollars and ropes of diamonds.”

That said, I do believe that for Anne as well as for me beauty can be richer when shared. Anne’s outlook on the world and life was never quite understood or shared by the girls that entered her previously lonely life, but her appreciation for all the world around her was still increased by the entrance of their friendship into her life. She had a gift of seeing beyond the surface to the richer subtleties of life in the presence as well as the potential for the future. Yes, she yearned for puffed sleeves. But when she received them in the form of a very unexpected gift, she realized that what made them beautiful had nothing to do with the sleeves themselves — their greatest beauty was from the love from which the dress they were a part of had been given.

So many thoughts tumbling in and adding too many layers to the central thoughts of this morning. This means it’s time to close.